An Odd Place

I'm not going to even suggest that all the situations I'm watching are The One Percenters, but suddenly several folks in my "circle of influence" are discussing their wishes regarding their possessions and assets after their demise.  I have no idea what any of these people have amassed, as that is sealed information in their trusts, etc.  I want to chuckle to myself that they clearly don't trust anyone to know their business while they are alive, so how can they be so sure anyone will do what they want, once they are gone . . . but I will respect someone's wishes if it's not against my beliefs, and so far, the requests are just about "stuff."

http://www.thekingfirm.com/what-a-last-will-and-testament-can-and-cant-do-for-you/

Since I do not believe in seeking medical intervention, no one has asked me to oversee their end of life care.  The last time I had anything to do with mainstream medicine, I trusted a couple of family members.  I'll never make that mistake again.  People truly do need to make sure their wishes are in writing and then find someone they do trust to protect their choice in the event they cannot speak for themselves.  Whether it's health care or estate planning, write down what you want.  It may be completely out of anyone's control by then, but in the event there is still some freedom, it is in writing.  In writing this article I looked at my own "advanced directive" and due to a change in circumstances, I need to update it.  When life changes, make note when necessary.

I would not want to be guessing what someone wants.  I was in that position, seven years ago.  Nothing like being the "next of kin" and responsible party for someone who cannot speak for themselves and had been completely dishonest with what they had "professed" or . . . changed their mind.  At any rate, don't do that to someone.  It's traumatic and in the event of health recovery, the trust is broken . . . completely shattered.

In the case of death and estate dispersal, there may be some lingering doubt, but it's easier to fulfill someone's last wishes, if they've put it in writing.  The people who are discussing their estate planning, with me currently, seem to prize their material possessions above all else.  I'm one of those people who gets the nervous giggles or when things are too heavy, need a bit of comic relief . . . One ongoing discussion of "after death wishes" has gone on so long, I finally suggested, it might be easier to just find a way to take it with them . . . They laughed but didn't change the subject.

I cannot say this enough.  Write down your convictions regarding health matters, and your wishes in regard to final disposition and dispersal of assets.  If you don't care, then write that down, too!  My own mother was telling me some details regarding who she wanted and did not want going through their house and stuff after their death.  She asked me to see to that.  In my obedience to Torah, I will attempt to honor their wishes as best I can, but in the 45+ years they've lived in that house, all I can see is months and months of sorting.  Then there's the fact that I've never had a key to their house . . .


This nation really doesn't let folks die like the patriarchs did in dignity . . . so let your wishes be made known, in writing, and tend to the details!